Talk:Archie Sonic the Hedgehog Issue 168

Sentence Structure
Not to be mean... but can we please proofread our works here? I'll try to go over this article later, but I think everyone should make a greater effort to correct and edit their work instead of just leaving it for others to do; at some points, it's barely salvageable and has to pretty much be rewritten from scratch anyway. For instance, almost all the sentences are poorly constructed; the first one alone reads:

"At Freedom HQ, Sonic is trying to find Tommy Turtle, with Tails and Rotor tell him that Tommy can't be far, Tails said he got first dibs when Tommy "helped" with his project and Rotor said that he washed the "dirty" petri dishes, which destroyed the Nanite research Rotor was working on."

This is a grammatical mess. Sonic "is trying" and Tails and Rotor "tell him" (present tense) but then Tails and Rotor both "said" and Tails "got" (past). Tense usage should be consistent throughout the summary. "With Tails and Rotor tell him" doesn't remotely make sense; with that kind of structure, it should be "while" instead of "what" or the verb should be changed to "telling" - except that in this case, the two ideas shouldn't be presented as being simultaneous like that anyway. Something like "and" or "but" would make the first part flow better to the second. Furthermore, the whole thing should be at least two sentences instead of one long one; there should be a period instead of a comma after "far" with "Tails," starting a new sentence. It's not presenting concise ideas as it should; it's more of a stream of consciousness. Remember, these articles should assume the reader doesn't necessarily know the details themselves and thus they should explain everything with clarity and precision.

Again, I'm not trying to be mean, but this is hardly a problem of an occasional typo; this makes no sense. While not perfect by any means, many programs have built-in spellcheckers, and some can even check basic grammar and sentence structure. There are also plenty of online dictionaries, thesauruses and the like. Furthermore, if you're not sure how to structure a sentence or how to phrase something, I will be happy to help you with it. I don't want to have to sit here and completely rewrite others' works while doing my own; I would much rather teach someone how to fish than to give them a fish for the day. CrazyLea 01:44, December 2, 2009 (UTC)